Killer crustaceans, zombies, clowns, and clones.
ISLAND CLAWS (1980)
Back in May, I spent a few days in the Brazilian beach city of Cabo Frio with blog contributor Priscilla, and during our time splashing around in the ocean there I managed to get pinched by a crab. So when we decided to have a marathon of aquatic horror movies about a week later, I had to add the giant killer crab movie Island Claws into the mix.
Directed by Hernan Cardenas, Island Claws was released in the wake of Jaws but feels more like the giant creature movies of the 1950s - and happens to have been co-written by a genre icon of the '50s. While Hernan Cardenas crafted the story with Colby Cardenas, that story was fleshed out into a screenplay by Jack Cowden and the Creature from the Black Lagoon himself, Ricou Browning. Browning had played the Gill Man for the water scenes in all three of the Creature films, then in the '60s he co-created Flipper with Cowden. Their friendly sea lion movie Salty, released in 1973, didn't catch on as well as the friendly dolphin Flipper did, and the crabs they wrote about in Island Claws aren't friendly at all.
This movie has exactly the sort of set-up you'd expect for a giant killer crab movie. At a laboratory run by the original James Bond Barry Nelson as scientist Dr. McNeal, experiments in "controlled farming methods" are being conducted in an effort to maximize the growth of the local crab population. But when an accident at a nearby nuclear power plant results in 46,000 gallons of radioactive water spilling out, some of the local crabs grow to a size no one is prepared to deal with.
As crabs big and small crawl their way through a small beach community, attacking anyone they come across, Island Claws branches out in some unexpected directions. It's no surprise when lab assistant Pete (Steve Hanks) pursues a relationship with Jan (Jo McDonnell), the photojournalist who's putting together a story on McNeal's experiments, because a movie like this is expected to have a romantic subplot with the hero and heroine. But Pete's tragic back story - which involves his late parents, his bar owner father figure Moody (Robert Lansing), and Jan's father, who happens to run the aforementioned nuclear power plant - isn't something I expected. Nor did I go into the movie thinking it would deal with illegal immigration and xenophobia, but then some Haitian refugees show up on a boat and are soon being accused of being responsible for the horrific acts that are actually being committed by the crabs. And I didn't expect this movie to tug on my heartstrings as much as it does in the scene where Moody finds that his dog has been injured by the crabs and several residents of his small town come together to (unsuccessfully) try to save the dog.
Because of these surprising elements, as well as the appearances by Puppet Master 2's Nita Talbot and Friday the 13th Part 2's John Furey, and of course the less-than-convincing giant crab special effects and action scenes (complete with some laughable death scenes), I found Island Claws to be an interesting watch. I wouldn't call it a lost classic, but I do think it deserves more attention. I had never heard of it before my search for lesser known aquatic horror movies in May, which I think is a sad thing. It shouldn't have slipped so far into obscurity.
VERSUS (2000)
Director Ryûhei Kitamura's Versus spent a long time making the festival rounds, so even though it had its first screening in 2000 it wasn't until 2002 that I first heard about it. I still remember how I heard about it, too. I was at the 2002 edition of a 24 hour theatrical horror marathon in Columbus, Ohio, and host Joe Neff started talking about this awesome action-horror Japanese zombie movie he had seen, describing some of the crowd-pleasing moments in it. One year later, it was Joe Neff who arranged my first viewing of Versus, as the movie ended up being shown at the 2003 edition of that 24 hour theatrical horror marathon.
That 2003 marathon remains the best marathon-going experience I've ever had, and it was the closet I've ever come to staying awake during an entire 24 hour marathon. Most (but not all) of the movies shown had something to do with zombies, George A. Romero was there as the guest of honor, and the line-up included The Last Man on Earth, Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Pieces, The Hunger, and Dead-Alive, among others. The marathon began at noon and Versus was scheduled to be shown at 11pm, although I'm sure it started later than that because the marathons always ran late to some degree.
Versus is about 2 hours long, but it's very simple. Text up front provides the only set-up that's really necessary: there are 666 portals scattered around the planet that connect our world to "the other side", and one of these portals is located in the Forest of Resurrection in Japan. The film begins with a scene that offers the extremely cool sight of a samurai taking down a large group of zombies in the Forest of Resurrection, then jumps ahead to modern day, where another zombie outbreak is about to occur within the woods.
The characters who have gathered together in the forest are a pair of escaped convicts - one of whom is our hero, Tak Sakaguchi as Prisoner KSC2-303 - a carload of yakuza types who have come to meet up with them, and a young woman (Chieko Misaka) that the gangsters have kidnapped for reasons that aren't immediately clear. Prisoner KSC2-303 refuses to take part in a kidnapping, a fight breaks out, one of the gangsters is killed... and then that dead gangster rises as a flesh-eating zombie. That all happens in the first 15 minutes, and the film is off and running from there, with Prisoner KSC2-303 and "The Girl" spending the rest of it fighting off zombies and gangsters as they try to escape from the woods.
The number of zombies is increased due to the fact that this forest has been the gangsters' dumping ground for the bodies of people they have killed. And they have killed a lot of people. Things are also complicated by the revelation that Prisoner KSC2-303, The Girl, and yakuza boss The Man (Hideo Sakaki) are all reincarnations of people who were involved with that "samurai vs. zombies" situation long ago.
Made on a small budget, Versus is a stylish and action-packed film that was inspired by the works of Sam Raimi, John Carpenter, and George Miller. It's imbued with a 1999/2000 sense of cool (Prisoner KSC2-303 gets his hands on a pair of sunglasses and a black leather trenchcoat during his struggle to survive) and full of gunfire, martial arts fights, gore, comedic moments, and hilariously over-the-top performances. Watching the movie in 2003, I found that it was as fun as Neff said it was in 2002. Several viewings have followed over the years since then, and watching it again sixteen years down the line I still find it to be entertaining.
Kitamura has directed some notable films since 2000, most famously 2004's Godzilla: Final Wars, but Versus remains my favorite Kitamura movie.
CLOWN MOTEL (2019)
Located in a small desert town and sitting right at the edge of an old cemetery that is said to be haunted, the Clown Motel in Tonopah, Nevada was crying out to have a movie made about it. Director Joseph Kelly's appropriately titled Clown Motel may not be the best possible movie that could have been made there, but I respect the attempt to craft a horror film around this inherently creepy real world location.
Written by Kelly (with some creative input from Final Destination's Jeffrey Reddick), Clown Motel begins with a rather strange back story about career criminals, a deadly double-cross, and tragedy that struck at the Clown Motel in 1942. The film tells us that the place was founded by a group of people who apparently wanted to live as clowns 24/7 and were rejected by society due to that lifestyle choice. It's their sanctuary, and given the way that they were mistreated by the outside world it doesn't make much sense that this place would also function as a motel for paying guests. But before we can see much of how the motel operates, and before we can question the logic too much, all of the clowns that live there are dead.
Jump ahead to present day, where we're introduced to three goofy-ass ghost hunters whose internet broadcasts don't have much of an audience, but they seem to be more concerned with booze and drugs than with the paranormal anyway. We're also introduced to four women who have a similar focus while on a bachelorette party trip. These two separate groups end up at the Clown Motel, which is now a supernatural place that suddenly appears on the side of the road in the middle of the Nevada desert. These seven characters seek shelter in this seemingly abandoned place, and for a while the party continues. But soon enough the spirits of the clowns who died there start appearing and engaging in violent shenanigans - including multiple murders and an instance of same sex ghost rape.
I could have done without any kind of rape being in the mix here, but I was totally on board to see a supernatural slasher about clowns murdering people at a motel. Unfortunately, Clown Motel has about as much working against it as it has going for it. It's a horror comedy that only delivers a laugh here and there. I didn't like any of the characters, even though I liked the actors tasked with bringing those characters to life. The basic concept was appealing, but the execution was lacking. The moments meant to thrill weren't that thrilling, the kills were mostly underwhelming, the comedy wasn't that funny. It felt like this movie had potential that it was constantly falling short of.
Still, it does have some charm. The setting is cool. Stars Elinor Price, Amanda Kott, Angeline Mirenda, Alyssa Howell, Donald Schell, Steven Vogel, and Eric Prochnau all did well here, and I'd be glad to see more of their work. The cast also includes some familiar names from other genre films: Martin Klebba from the Feast sequels, Ari Lehman from the original Friday the 13th, Tony Moran from the original Halloween.
The fact that there's a Jason Voorhees and a Michael Myers in this movie is probably going to be the primary draw for a lot of viewers... although some viewers may be disappointed by their screen time. Moran shows up very briefly as one of those career criminals in the opening sequence, while Lehman has more to do as one of the clowns. He's at the center of some of the action, and even gets to kill someone while yelling "Respect the testicles!", but his clown has to share the spotlight with several others.
Clown Motel isn't great, and at 96 minutes it feels a bit long-winded, but I found it to be a watchable diversion. If you like killer clowns or any of the actors mentioned, you might be amused by it. Just go into it with very low expectations. A sequel is already in the works, so maybe that one will live up to the potential better than this first try did.
The review of Clown Motel first appeared on ArrowintheHead.com
INTO THE DARK: ALL THAT WE DESTROY (2019)
I was hesitant about the May release in Hulu and Blumhouse's monthly horror anthology series Into the Dark. It seemed to have a lot going against it, from my perspective. All That We Destroy is a pretentious sounding title; the synopsis mentioned that the lead character is a geneticist, which made me concerned that this was going to be overly sci-fi in addition to being ponderous and pretentious; and I'll admit, I wasn't sure about the director making her feature directorial debut under the flashy pseudonym Chelsea Stardust. She had previously racked up a ton of credits under the name Chelsea Peters when she was working as an assistant to Judd Apatow and Into the Dark producer Jason Blum, but now she's Stardust? Bowie's the only Stardust. The one thing that gave me hope for All That We Destroy was the cast - Samantha Mathis, Israel Broussard (from Blumhouse's Happy Death Day and Happy Death Day 2 U), Pulp Fiction's Frank Whaley, Aurora Perrineau (who was previously in the October installment of Into the Dark, The Body).
As it turns out, I had nothing to be worried about. Chelsea Stardust directed a really good, dark, twisted movie that isn't pretentious despite the title and the presence of a geneticist, while the actors did just as well in their roles as I expected them to.
The geneticist in question is Dr. Victoria Harris (Mathis), who lives in an isolated home with her violent psychopath son Spencer (Broussard). Some time recently, Victoria came home to the shocking discovery that Spencer had brought a young woman (Perrineau as a character named Ashley) to their home and given into the unprovoked urge to strangle her to death. Hoping to stop Spencer from branching out and murdering other people, Victoria decides to create clones of Ashley so Spencer can relive the murder scenario over and over. Problem is, these newly created clones are innocent and blank, they're not the wild girl the real Ashley was, so Spencer doesn't get the same thrill out of killing them. Sure, he'll do it. Again and again. But it's just not as satisfying.
Victoria has to figure out how to better replicate the original experience for her son. And she needs to do it quick, because he has found another girl (Dora Madison) to interact with, and possibly decide to murder. This endeavor will require keeping clones alive longer so they can get smarter and develop personality.
That's a pretty twisted tale that Sean Keller and Jim Agnew came up with. It kind of puts Broussard in a situation similar to what he deals with in the Happy Death Day movies, where he has to act out different versions of scenes over and over because other characters get caught in time loops, but this doesn't have the fun tone those movies have. All That We Destroy is dead serious. I knew this was all going to end horribly, and I was hooked to see exactly how it was going to fall apart.
Like many of the Into the Dark entries, this is a movie that's mostly set in one location with just a few characters. This one keeps the situation fresh and interesting by gradually giving us the back story on the original Spencer and Ashley interaction, while showing different twists on that interaction.
Every movie in the Into the Dark series is meant to be connected to a holiday or notable date in its month of release. All That We Destroy is considered the Mother's Day entry, since it's about a boy and his mother, but like the Ides of March entry Treehouse it's one that doesn't actually reference the holiday / date it represents. It's a minor quibble, but I wish these would more directly deal with the day, since that was the basic concept of the series.
I was hesitant about the May release in Hulu and Blumhouse's monthly horror anthology series Into the Dark. It seemed to have a lot going against it, from my perspective. All That We Destroy is a pretentious sounding title; the synopsis mentioned that the lead character is a geneticist, which made me concerned that this was going to be overly sci-fi in addition to being ponderous and pretentious; and I'll admit, I wasn't sure about the director making her feature directorial debut under the flashy pseudonym Chelsea Stardust. She had previously racked up a ton of credits under the name Chelsea Peters when she was working as an assistant to Judd Apatow and Into the Dark producer Jason Blum, but now she's Stardust? Bowie's the only Stardust. The one thing that gave me hope for All That We Destroy was the cast - Samantha Mathis, Israel Broussard (from Blumhouse's Happy Death Day and Happy Death Day 2 U), Pulp Fiction's Frank Whaley, Aurora Perrineau (who was previously in the October installment of Into the Dark, The Body).
As it turns out, I had nothing to be worried about. Chelsea Stardust directed a really good, dark, twisted movie that isn't pretentious despite the title and the presence of a geneticist, while the actors did just as well in their roles as I expected them to.
The geneticist in question is Dr. Victoria Harris (Mathis), who lives in an isolated home with her violent psychopath son Spencer (Broussard). Some time recently, Victoria came home to the shocking discovery that Spencer had brought a young woman (Perrineau as a character named Ashley) to their home and given into the unprovoked urge to strangle her to death. Hoping to stop Spencer from branching out and murdering other people, Victoria decides to create clones of Ashley so Spencer can relive the murder scenario over and over. Problem is, these newly created clones are innocent and blank, they're not the wild girl the real Ashley was, so Spencer doesn't get the same thrill out of killing them. Sure, he'll do it. Again and again. But it's just not as satisfying.
Victoria has to figure out how to better replicate the original experience for her son. And she needs to do it quick, because he has found another girl (Dora Madison) to interact with, and possibly decide to murder. This endeavor will require keeping clones alive longer so they can get smarter and develop personality.
That's a pretty twisted tale that Sean Keller and Jim Agnew came up with. It kind of puts Broussard in a situation similar to what he deals with in the Happy Death Day movies, where he has to act out different versions of scenes over and over because other characters get caught in time loops, but this doesn't have the fun tone those movies have. All That We Destroy is dead serious. I knew this was all going to end horribly, and I was hooked to see exactly how it was going to fall apart.
Like many of the Into the Dark entries, this is a movie that's mostly set in one location with just a few characters. This one keeps the situation fresh and interesting by gradually giving us the back story on the original Spencer and Ashley interaction, while showing different twists on that interaction.
Every movie in the Into the Dark series is meant to be connected to a holiday or notable date in its month of release. All That We Destroy is considered the Mother's Day entry, since it's about a boy and his mother, but like the Ides of March entry Treehouse it's one that doesn't actually reference the holiday / date it represents. It's a minor quibble, but I wish these would more directly deal with the day, since that was the basic concept of the series.
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