Lionsgate was kind enough to provide a screener so I could get an early look at writer/director Kevin Smith’s new film Clerks III, therefore I am obligated to write a review... Which is a difficult thing to do, because this isn’t Just Another Movie to me. The Clerks movies are a deeply important part of my existence. My first viewing of Clerks, at the shockingly young age of 11, was a life-changing event for me. It introduced me (and the rest of the world) to the person I consider to be the Entertainer of My Life. Kevin Smith. The person who has brought more hours of entertainment into my life than anyone else ever has or ever will. Despite my young age, Clerks clicked with me because I recognized the characters. I knew people like this. The titular clerks Dante (played by Brian O’Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) were twice my age, but I had overheard conversations like the ones they had because I have a brother who is ten years older than me. Dante and Randal sounded like my brother and his friends. After seeing something so familiar to my own world in Clerks, I was on board to see anything Kevin Smith would do in the future. And I have remained on board for almost thirty years now. I’ve been there through all the movies, the podcasts, the comics, etc. Along the way, it was nice to catch up with Dante and Randal from time to time. In the Clerks cartoon, Clerks comic books, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, the Flying Car short film, Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (Dante only there). And of course, Clerks II. It’s shocking to me that sixteen years have already passed since Clerks II, because I vividly remember sitting in the theatre for that one several times, basking in the joy of witnessing another tumultuous day in the life of Dante and Randal. Clerks II was an excellent, beautiful follow-up to Clerks. And left us with the hope that we’d catch up with Dante and Randal again someday, more years down the line.
Smith has been wanting to make Clerks III for several years – and it almost happened in 2015. The project fell apart (over a money dispute) just weeks before it was supposed to start filming in Philadelphia. At that time, there was a completely different script in place. A script that would have started with Dante and Randal’s store, the Quick Stop convenience store, being destroyed in Hurricane Sandy. Randal would then cope with the loss by heading over to a theatre to see a movie featuring his favorite superhero, Ranger Danger. But the movie isn’t going to be released for another year. Randal is going to spend the year standing in line outside the theatre, like people used to do for Star Wars movies. More people would start standing in line behind him, he would build his own bodega version of Quick Stop in the theatre parking lot... It sounds very interesting, although I’m not into the idea of the Quick Stop being destroyed at the beginning because we already saw it get destroyed (by fire) at the beginning of Clerks II. That’s why Dante and Randal were working at a Mooby’s fast food restaurant in that one, before they bought the store, fixed it up, and re-opened it in the somewhat triumphant but also slightly melancholy ending.
After suffering a massive heart attack at the start of 2018, Smith was inspired to switch up the story of Clerks III and try again. In doing so, he sort of went back to an idea he originally had for a feature continuation of the short-lived Clerks cartoon. At one point, he was planning to make an animated Clerks movie called Clerks: Sell Out, which would have been about Dante and Randal making their own version of Clerks. Which is exactly what Clerks III is.
Smith has said that the original version of Clerks III was about dealing with grief and whether or not Randal had wasted his life by spending it watching movies. He has also said it’s a good thing that version wasn’t made, because it was too tragic, a tearjerker. People who sat in on readings of the script reported crying multiple times. The script was reworked, there’s no more Hurricane Sandy or waiting outside a theatre for Ranger Danger, but the Clerks III we have now is still absolutely about dealing with grief and whether or not Randal has wasted his life. And it’s still a tearjerker with an unexpected amount of tragedy in the story. Dante and Randal got what they wanted at the end of Clerks II, but as it turns out, things went south quickly after the end credits. These last sixteen years have been worse for them than I ever would have imagined. It’s a bummer to find out what has happened since the events of Clerks II... and really turns Dante into one of the most tragic characters in cinema history. This guy’s life has been awful.
But the story gets rolling because of something that happens to Randal. While picking on Quick Stop employee Elias (Trevor Fehrman), a character returning from Clerks II, Randal collapses from a heart attack. And if you’ve ever heard Smith tell the story of his own massive heart attack, you’ll be familiar with what happens to Randal while he’s in the hospital. This version of the story is just a bit more humorous than the actual event, thanks to the fact that Amy Sedaris and Justin Long are there to play the medical professionals who save Randal’s life. As Randal is recovering, Dante is advised to do whatever he can to help keep his longtime friend’s spirits up, as heart attack survivors often sink into a depression. And while Randal is initially depressed that he almost died, since he feels he has wasted his life, he quickly realizes there’s a way to make sure that all he has done has been building up to something: he’s going to make a movie about his time working at Quick Stop, Mooby’s, and the video store that used to be beside the Quick Stop but has now been closed for a decade, like most video stores. He writes a script called Inconvenience, which seems to be an amalgamation of events we saw in Clerks and Clerks II. And once Dante secures the budget from an unexpected source, they set out to make the movie.
Dante and Randal are aided in their filmmaking endeavor by Elias, whose own life has changed after he nearly lost Randal; Elias’s silent sidekick Blockchain Coltrane (Austin Zajur), and of course, Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith), who now run a totally legal weed dispensary out of the former video store. Although they’re still not quite used to the fact that weed is legal now. We learn that Silent Bob is an excellent photographer, making him the perfect choice to be the cinematographer on Randal’s movie... and he insists on shooting in black and white, because the colors on the items in the store are too hideous for his liking.
The only annoyance here is the name “Blockchain” Coltrane and the fact that he and Elias are into NFTs, just rubbing it in my face that I’m not able to see Smith’s horror anthology KillRoy Was Here because he released it as an NFT and I don’t want to get into that stuff. I’m sitting here hoping I’ll be able to own the movie in another format someday, feeling like a bad fan because I haven’t seen it yet, and now I have to listen to these guys talk about their NFTs. At least Randal makes fun of them for it.
Smith has said so much about Clerks III featuring recreations of moments from the original Clerks (as part of the movie-within-the-movie), I did go into this one fearing that too much of the running time would be taken up by these recreations. Thankfully, that’s not the case. We do see several recreations, but they go by quickly, and they’re fun to see because Smith got the actors who played the roles the first time around to reprise their roles for the recreations. I watched Clerks III in a triple feature with the previous two Clerks movies, and there wasn’t enough from the first Clerks in the third movie to make it feel repetitious even when seeing these things in both movies in the same evening. The casting process allows for some cute cameos from actors who weren’t in Clerks, but most of whom have worked with Smith on other projects.
The making of the movie even brings Dante’s ex Veronica (Marilyn Ghigliotti) back into his life in a nice way. And his ex Emma (Jennifer Schwalbach) back in a less pleasant way. Of all the women who have had Dante’s heart over the years, it’s Becky (Rosario Dawson) who has the most impactful role in Clerks III, and not in the way I thought she would.
The first two Clerks movies had a lot of dialogue and some scenes that certain viewers could have found to be utterly appalling, while others found them to be hilarious. Clerks III still earns an R for language, but the conversations in this one don’t reach the heights of over-the-top vulgarity that the previous movies reached. The movie is still quite funny... but the moments that linger in my mind more than the humorous ones are the ones that are emotionally devastating. Clerks III shocked me with tragedy on more than one occasion, and in a way I feel like I’m dealing with grief myself after watching the movie. Decisions were made that I’m still coming to terms with. Some things cast a shadow on moments in the previous films in a way that I’m not comfortable with.
I really enjoyed Clerks III and feel that it’s a worthy sequel. It just happens to be a sequel that gave me emotional gut punches that I wasn’t expecting at all. It was good to see Dante and Randal again – but while spending more time with them, I learned things about their lives that I wish I hadn’t found out, because I imagined better things for them after the ending of Clerks II. But even though things about Clerks III make me uncomfortable and sad, it’s also so entertaining that I have watched the screener multiple times. And I will be having a lot more viewings of the film in the future.
Lionsgate, in partnership with Fathom Events, will be releasing Clerks III exclusively in theaters from September 13th – 18th. Kevin Smith is also taking the movie out on tour.
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